Tuesday, February 19, 2013

The Blame Game

We fosters live our lives on the emotional extremes. We know the very highest of highs and we visit the very lowest of lows. It's the nature of what we do. We take in the lost, the sick, the broken, and we suffer along with them as they heal. And when they heal? We climb to the mountaintop and watch them soar into their new lives.

Our lives are cyclical. We know that reaching the peak means that we will soon be down in the valley with a new foster, starting the climb all over again. It's easy to crash and burn, to feel crushed, disappointed, and wonder about all the whys and wherefores of how an animal came to be in the condition that you now see them in.

My foster life in the past few months has been a metaphorical amusement park ride. An exciting adoption followed by a significant illness or surgeries. A rock star kitten lights up my life and then leaves us much too soon. A thrilling forever match on the heels of a crushing diagnosis, which is in turn followed by four blissfully negative test results. I knew the crash was coming. I just never knew it would be here so soon.

Before I continue, it's important to know that no one here is in danger. All fosters and permanent residents are happy and (mostly) healthy. We've had the return of an old foe... ringworm. And when I finished screaming and began to assess the situation, it was all too easy to play a round of "The Blame Game".

It's a game that all parents play. Human parents play it while worrying about their children. Pet parents play it while worrying about their fur babies. Foster parents play it while worrying about every last one that has fallen through the cracks to us. It's a wonderful cross of "How in the H#&%?" combined with every imaginable "What if?" And playing it will make you crazy.

It's natural to want to know where it came from, extrapolating the typical incubation period with where the kittens were on what day; To examine the equipment that came with them or the fosters who were still here; To analyze the high numbers of transient fosters in the past two months, the ones that were here for less time than it took to break out, and wonder if they were a carrier; To wrack my brain back and forth until it breaks under the weight of blame and I begin to realize something: It just doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter where the spores originated. They're on a kitten in my foster room. It doesn't matter how they got there. They're there now. And it's my job to make life better for these kittens, to get them to the mountaintop. After all... if I don't do it, who will?

We're almost there, really we are. We've flown over the high hurdles of FIV. The ringworm one is tiny in comparison. Two to three weeks of medication and cleaning before our babies are good to go. With this particular group, the extra snuggle time is a welcome pleasure.

But you better believe my foster room is closing for a much needed break after these four move out.

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Important Post Script #1: Only one kitten is affected so far. Please pray it stays that way.

Important Post Script #2: I'm fine, really I am. Truthfully, this is preferable to fleas.

Important Post Script #3: Two of the Madison Midgets are already spoken for. Anyone interested in a lovely pair?? You know where to find me.

Important Post Script #4: You guys are going to FLIP when you hear one of these adoption stories.

Important Post Script #5: Yeah, yeah, yeah... I'll get you pictures tomorrow.

13 comments:

  1. OMG!! But at least it's only one kitten right now, and they are small enough to get them use to the baths quickly. I guess they will be seperated from Mama now, if they haven't been already?

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    1. Yes. They were separated from Mama a week ago after their negative FIV result. The incubation period puts her slightly at risk, but since she's an adult with an apparently strong, healthy body (regardless of her FIV+ result) I'm hoping she fights it off.

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  2. so sorry.....we are dealing with the "fungus amung us" right now too and it is SO frustrating. Fingers crossed this is an easy fix batch and everyone recovers quickly. And may the kittens NOT be screamers like our Emma :)

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    1. Oh NO! Not your house too!! Fingers crossed for quick recoveries all around (and no more infestations to follow!)

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    2. How did I miss the news about Emma? I popped over to read your blog and I must have only missed the days you mentioned ringworm (or I had my hands over my eyes singing "La la la... I can't see you!" Guess that didn't work so well for me, did it?)

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  3. Kelly-the great thing about those emotional amusement rides is that when the lows are so low it makes the ride back up so welcome. Even though I KNOW it doesn't matter because I couldn't change the past, my family also got a test result recently that made me play the "What if" game. IT explains a lot and it will be okay (no life ending prognosis) but it's still a blow. Anyway, that is my roundabout way of saying it could be worse. Plus, you've done it before. You have lots of background knowledge and experience. The past happened so you would be ready for this. Best wishes!

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    1. Oh Holly... I'm sorry you're going through this right now. I hope you know that I'm here to support you too... would be awfully one-sided of me to soak up all of your support and only offer cute kitten photos in return. I'm at the e-mail link on the right if you need anything that I can offer.

      And yes, I've got this down to a science (almost). Now if I could just figure out how to keep it from coming in the dang house to begin with! We're doing well here today. ((And there are cute photos of it for tomorrow!!))

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    2. Kelly, never dismiss the power of a cute kitten photo!

      (Purrs to Holly and her family)

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    3. Thanks Kelly and Connie. Yes, kitty pictures help quite a bit :)

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  4. pshaw, it's just ringworm (that thankfully I've never had) easily treatable and does no long term damage.. and now you have a wonderful excuse to keep them with you for a while long..

    (purrs that they take treatment well, that no new spots pop up, and you get the other two adopted before they are ready)

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    1. JUST ringworm... thanks for the giggle. You're right in that it's treatable and preferable to many other things that they could have (FIV being one of them).

      I will take slight umbrage in the "easily" modifier. After spending the past two hours scrubbing and looking at several loads of laundry ahead of me, it may not be rocket science but it isn't "easy". What IS easy? Snuggling those babies!!!

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  5. Oh Kelly, I'm so sorry that you have to go through the ringworm thing again. I can't imagine spending two hours scrubbing away, plus still having to do loads of laundry. Uggh, it's too much for me just trying to keep up with the two adults, two cats and one dog in my household. I don't know how you and the other fosters do it.

    BTW, I noticed your comment about ringworm being preferable to fleas. There's a brand-new flea repellent product that was introduced to North America just a year ago, but has been available in Europe for some years now. It uses innovative new technology and is 100% safe, so safe it can be used on newborns and sick animals. I've become a distributor for it because it is so awesome. When you get a chance, take a look at http://www.petprotector.org/?ID=18451 I know you are busy battling ringworm right now, and I also don't want this to sound like a sales pitch, so I'll refrain from writing any more about it, although I could go on and on about how great it is.

    Can't wait for the adoption story. You seem to have some of the best adoption stories ever!

    And thank you for the very honest portrayal of the emotional roller coaster of being a foster mom. Sometimes I envy all the foster moms out there with all these cute kitties (and puppies) to love and snuggle with and play with. But there's so much more to it than just the cute photos that we blog readers see.

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  6. You just keep hanging in there. Your strength and determination have made such a huge difference in so many lives, 2 and 4 legged. I hear the frustration, but also the grit and determination, so keep on keepin' on. Sending some love and reiki to you and the fosters for health and a chance to breathe easy.

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