Friday, October 12, 2012

Contemplating Foster Failure on Friday

My apologies up front for a late and shortened post on a Friday.  Life jumped up and bit me in a big way this week.  I'm fine and so are all of our permanent and temporary residents... promise.

Also, Holly??  I owe you a picture of Henry.  I think I owe you one of Charlie too.  These are both on my list for the weekend.

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Sometimes I'm not so sure I'm cut out for this.  When the kittens are sick or my house is overwhelmed or when I have to give up a sweet baby that I've lovingly raised to the unknowns of the adoption center, I wonder how I can continue fostering.  This isn't the kind of foster failure that I'm contemplating today, though.

For those of you who foster.... Have you ever had a little one in your house who you doubted that you could ever let go?  Were you having these thoughts weeks before the little bugger was even remotely big enough to be adopted?

That's the kind of foster failure that I contemplate today.

Surprisingly, after everything I've written over the past couple of weeks, it's not Porter that I'm thinking about snatching.  It's someone who is still here.


Yes, I have a thing for a bitey little brat.  A polar white flame point kitten who won't even last his first weekend at the adoption center when it's his time to go.

If we get past the biting issue, Clay is the sweetest little dumpling in the foster room.  He's the first one to greet me upon arrival, the one to never leave my lap while I'm there, the one who cries at the door when I'm on the other side.  He appears to love me more than Mama right now.  I think I'm okay with it too.


I have at least three weeks left with this gorgeous little boy.  We'll see what happens after that.  In the meantime, if anyone is wondering what to get me for my birthday... how about a kitten adoption with a neuter surgery thrown in?  ;-)

Of course, next week I will be whining about giving Henry back or cursing whoever it is who isn't adopting my precious Porter.  But for today, my true love is Clay.




18 comments:

  1. Well heck, if that is all it takes, Sign me up! (yes, I am a HORRIBLE kitten pusher!!)

    those lovey kittens are so much fun, and they make fostering so worth it. as a foster failure eight times over (points to The Crew and Kodi who passed) I can tell you you simply have to remember your limits. There becomes a point when keeping kitties does more harm to them and you then good. Not saying you are anywhere near there, just that I've reached that limit. I fostered with a woman who could not let any of them go and ended up with 12 cats.. She was fortunate enough to be in a position where that wasn't the wrong decision, but I can only see what is going to happen 10 years down the road when all 12 are elderly and need elder care.

    Clay will be loved no matter where he goes, he won't have it any other way.

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    1. If I failed 8 times at fostering, I might find myself a marriage failure too ;-)

      Yes, I know my limits (fostering is helping me find them... now I just need to use my backbone and enforce them).

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  2. PayPal donations for adoption! I was supposed to foster Tyrion and gt him healthy. And the little bugger loves me more than anything. Even food. Couldn't give up my Velcro cat for the world.

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    1. Don't tempt me! ((And Tyrion obviously knew a good deal when he found one. I often say that we don't adopt the cat, the cat adopts us... Norman wouldn't have been the one that I brought home either. But he was.))

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  3. I could not foster. I greatly admire all who do. I can't even walk by the kitty cages at PetSmart without tearing up. I think you can do it. You've had a rough time recently, but you will help so many little babies.

    My kitty's name was Clay before I adopted him. All Clays must be special.

    And thank you to ALL foster moms - you are truly special.

    ib

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    1. It is most definite that OUR Clays are indeed special.

      Thank you for your kind words.

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  4. Yep - happens to the best of us. When Ivy was tiny, I had no intention of adopting another cat. And if it was going to be any kitten in that group, it would not have been her. And yet, 4 years later, she is the queen of all she surveys and is even tattooed on my arm. :) Not that I am suggesting keeping Clay.... there is always one that tugs at your heart. Connie is right - it is about knowing your limits and also knowing that there is a family out there looking for him (and Henry and Porter - they just haven't arrived yet).

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    1. I'm just getting impatient for those families. Henry and Porter are nearly 6 months old and teenage kittens wait longer and longer (especially when I've got a group of 10 week olds at Petco and a litter of 5 week olds ready to go next month)

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  5. Yeah, Connie's right - you've got to know your limits. I'm pretty sure I've passed mine by at least a couple. I'm committed to not adding any more permanent residents, but I'm pretty sure it's going to kill me dead to give up Magoo. :/

    (And also, I bet you'd raise the money via Paypal donations in less than day. Just sayin'! ;) )

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    1. I knew Magoo would be a tough one for you. Good thing he's still around for a while. Between the babies not being old enough, the upper respiratory still hanging on upstairs, and the back-log of kittens waiting to go to Petco, I imagine both Clay and Henry will be here for at least 2-3 weeks. I'm not complaining. I could honestly see me keeping both of them (or neither of them).

      The rescue is going to an adoption fair the last weekend of October. The Jeffersons will be too young to leave, but they are going just in case someone wants to fill out an adoption contract. I'm hoping we can clear out some of these older kittens who have waited much too long for their homes.

      I'm also hoping for an insanely difficult, cold and snowy winter. Michigan had a mild winter last year and the rescue population is paying for it in the form of ringworm and fleas. We have more kittens with more health problems than we've had in over a decade. ((I'm happy that more cats survived, but the germs did too which makes the survivors sicker and harder to help))

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  6. I know I'd donate towards you keeping him. :)

    But, they're all right above also - you are the only one who can set those limits. which also means that you are the one to stretch those limits when you want. The thing is - don't think about it as a failure at all because it's totally not. What your goal as a foster parent is (I would imagine) to help nurture loving, fun, healthy little kitties that will transition nicely into their forever home. So if that forever home doesn't require a car ride and adjustment period then how is that a failure?! Don't beat yourself up over this one. Love on him for the next three weeks and then see how you feel. No one around here will fault you for any decision you make beyond that!

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    1. "Failure" is certainly relative, isn't it? Nope, I'm not a foster failure. As long as I give **most** of them up, we're good. ;-)

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  7. Thats the reason I couldn't foster as well - I would love all the tux and black and white kitties that came my way - :D

    All kitties are special and there special families will arrive soon I'm sure and im also sure that the kitties will charm their new humans as soon as is practically possible!

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    1. I have no doubt that our babies will find the right homes, although sometimes I am positive that MY home would be the best place for them. But that would make too many kitties in the house, so I won't keep them all (maybe just one...)

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  8. Aww, I can understand how you feel... I would have a hard time giving any of them up.. I'd be drowning in kitties and you'd see me on an episode of animal hoarders, extreme edition! "As you can see, you can only see the human from the nose up as she's buried in cats stacked ten deep. Sad situation. *head shakes* Wait, what's she trying to say?" "I got room for one more, I dont need the back of my head free!"

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    1. HA!! Actually the back of my head usually isn't free as that is Henry's spot. Our Henry is 7 pounds of shoulder-straddling cat who wraps himself around the back of my head.

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  9. LOL Andrea-that was funny!
    Kelly-only you know what is right for you. As the others have said, Clay (and Henry and Porter) will have great homes no matter what. I'm not sure though that if I had to I could give up my little Oreo. She is not the one I would've picked if I walked into a shelter on my own, but she seems to have been picked for me. My how quickly we fall in love. Give it a bit of time and the right answer will come to you.

    Oh, and about the pics-don't worry about them. If you get some fine, if not I totally understand :)

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    1. You are getting pictures!!!!!!

      I think the love of my kitty life changes by day-to-day over who needs me more (and I always feel guilty if I feel a bit more "attached" to one foster over another). Truth is that I'd keep all of them at one point or another. My kids are extra attached to Clay too (and Henry... they always asked to keep Henry and now we have Henry for an extended period of time)

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